Working Together & Resolving Conflicts
One of the things we realize as we continue our journey as a parish family is that we won’t always see eye to eye on how things need to be done. This is to be expected, and in the midst of this reality, I would like to remind us of the importance of practicing a biblical teaching that the Lord gave us in the Gospel of Matthew.
The Lord gives us a tiered system for resolving differences. We don’t begin with the last step, even though that can be a great temptation.
By honoring this teaching, we can resist the temptation to gossip about people and spread false information or damaging words that harm the reputation of others. It shows a great degree of spiritual maturity, and life just works better when we practice this mandate.
I remember very well an incredibly difficult situation I encountered during my senior year of high school, when I had to confront my dad. It wasn’t because he had sinned against me, but rather because I wasn’t being honest about something I felt he really wanted me to do. I was afraid that if I didn’t do it, I would disappoint him, and he would look poorly upon me as his son. Many things happened in my relationship with the Lord during my senior year, and even though our parents want to see us succeed in activities like music, sports, and other hobbies, I had reached the point where I knew I had to put God’s plans for my life first—even if that meant being at odds with my parents.
The meeting with my father didn’t turn out as I thought it would. I learned a lot about his character and his love for me as his son by the way he responded. I also learned to trust the promptings of the Holy Spirit and to stand up for myself. Had I not chosen to follow this important teaching, I am convinced my relationship with my dad would have been very different.
It isn’t easy to confront people about wrongdoings or misunderstandings, but this is fundamental for our well-being and for the health of the Body of Christ.
Years ago, when I was serving as the pastor in Enumclaw, I wrote a resource on Christian Conflict Resolution. It is too large to post here, but I will make it available in hopes that it will help us to practice this important teaching.
I wish you a most blessed and “sane” week!
In Christ,
Fr. Jim
Pastor
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